Growing Pains
by Starscribe9
Summary: When Sirius leaves his family and plays a dangerous trick on Snape, friendships are strained to the breaking point.
1. Chapter 1: Kitchen Confidences

Disclaimer:All Harry Potter material belongs to JKR!

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Rain was thrashing against the roof when James jerked awake in his bed. Disoriented, he fought free from the tangled bedclothes, groping for his glasses and wand on the bedside table. He was just trying to remember what had woken him up when it came again: a faint clanging was sounding urgently from downstairs. Finally recognising the sound of the bronze doorknocker, James swung his legs out of bed, jammed his glasses on his face, and squinted up at the clock on his wall. Pale moonlight picked out the miniature Cleansweep broomsticks that served as clock hands; both pointed directly at the twelve. With a tingle of anticipation, he wondered who on earth would be visiting this late. Nevertheless, he wrapped himself in his bathrobe, grabbed his wand, and started downstairs as the clanging rang through the house for a third time.

James paused in the entrance hall; keeping his wand trained on the oak front door, he padded quietly across the tiled floor and pressed an eye to the peephole. The porch light that magically illuminated visitors the moment they reached the doorstep shone a garish orange against the stormy night. It took a moment for James to recognise the soaked, disheveled figure standing on his porch, but the second he did, he wrenched the door open and swung it wide.

For a moment the two boys locked eyes, completely lost for words. Then Sirius Black cracked a smile and cocked his head.

'Hey, James. Mind if I kip here tonight?'

James stared, his heart sinking. The strained expression on his friend's face bore no resemblance to Sirius's trademark dashing grin, and his voice couldn't quite make the cut of casual. Perhaps the other sensed this, for Sirius recovered sufficiently to raise an amused brow and look pointedly past his friend into the dark house. James stepped hurriedly back.

'Yeah, sure, come on in.'

Sirius tramped into the hall, lugging his school trunk behind him, to which his broomstick and empty owl cage were strapped.

'Pandora's out hunting, reckon she'll find me here soon enough. Sorry I didn't owl first. I, er…sort of left in a hurry.'

Sirius was avoiding his friend's eyes, and James noticed a tremor in his voice despite the determinedly nonchalant posture he was adopting.

'Merlin, Sirius,' he said softly. 'What happened?'

'Oh…you know.' Sirius stared somewhat vacantly into the hall, 'Got into it with my family, had a big row, and I, ah…left. For good,' he added, now frowning at the tiled floor.

'For_ good?'_ James gasped. 'You mean, you ran away?'

Sirius gave a short, bark-like laugh, 'Well, I prefer to think of it in rather more manly terms, but that about sums it up.'

The show of indifference was troubling, but James didn't press.

'Why don't you come on into the kitchen, I'll—get you a cup of tea or something.'

Sirius nodded and followed mutely as an increasingly concerned James led him out of the entrance hall.

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Once in the warm glow of the Potters' cozy kitchen, James used the pretext of making tea to sneak an appraising look at his friend. Out of the shadows of the hall, Sirius's appearance was an unpleasant shock. Pale and wan, he sat slumped quietly at the table, his sopping black hair hanging limply over his face. A moment later, James suspected this might be intentional, as he noticed an angry-looking welt stretching from Sirius's temple down his cheek. Stomach twisting sickly, he set a steaming mug on the table, and leaned against the counter, cupping his own mug in his hands.

'What happened there?' he asked, trying to keep his voice neutral.

Sirius shrugged. 'It's nothing; things just got a bit heated…Mum fired off a stinging hex, guess I wasn't quick enough.' He tried to grin as though sharing a joke, but at James's silence gave up. Shifting in his seat, he played with the mug in his hands.

James stared. The situation with Sirius's family had gotten increasingly worse over the years, and in the past year especially. But he had never seen his friend like this.

Sirius sensed James's anxiety, and shot him a look of annoyance. 'Oh come on, James, it's not that bad. I mean, really, I would have left a long time ago if it wasn't for Reg…but I guess that excuse has been worn out for a while now.'

'What do you mean?' James asked, noting the sudden bitterness in his friend's voice.

Sirius took a gulp of tea. 'He wants to join them,' he muttered around his mug.

There was no need for James to ask who 'them' was. He knew that Regulus Black had become obsessed with the rise of the Dark wizard who was calling himself Lord Voldemort. He also knew it must be killing his friend to have to stand by and watch.

'Maybe he'll change his mind,' he offered, somewhat lamely. 'No way the Death Eaters would take him for several years yet.'

'Yeah...' Sirius didn't sound convinced. He looked shaken and tired, as though all the energy had suddenly drained out of him. Silence stretched again in the kitchen. James cast around for something reassuring to say that wouldn't sound like he was being comforting. Sirius was very particular about that sort of thing. Wishing fervently that Remus was there, James masked his awkwardness by rummaging around in the cupboards.

'Look, I know Dad hides some Odgen's in here somewhere, we could make that tea a bit stronger.'

Sirius smiled thinly. 'No, thanks. If your mum found out she'd kill us. Getting kicked out of one house is enough for the night.'

'Wait, you got kicked out? I thought you left.'

'I did leave. And as I was going my mother blasted me off the tapestry. Whatever. Comes to the same thing.'

James stood, empty hands hanging at his sides, and braced himself to ask the question that had been hanging in the air since his friend arrived.

'So…why'd you leave this time? I mean…it must've been pretty bad.'

Sirius barked another humourless laugh, and James fought the impulse to wince. He knew that mannerism and what it implied.

'They started talking about…ah…werewolves.'

'Oh.'

'Yeah…well, you know the usual bit. "Filthy half-breeds"…Dad came home from the Ministry, full of this foul new legislation he's trying to get passed. Increased registration regulations…and some relocation crap…it's all convoluted, but the upshot is it would make it literally impossible for anyone with lycanthropy to get a job in the Wizarding world, or own a house, or live with anything approaching dignity…as if it isn't hard enough already.' Sirius put his face in his hands in frustration, only to jerk up again as he brushed the welt on his cheek.

James fumbled with his own mug, pretending not to notice.

'And I thought of Remus, and I just couldn't stand that they would do something like that to him, people like him, without a second thought. Even if they knew him, I think.' His mouth twisted in irony. "They wouldn't see Remus as human.'

'Merlin…' James murmured again, running his hand through his messy hair. He felt disgust, and the beginnings of fear. Surely such legislation would never go through?

'Yeah.' Sirius's voice cracked. 'And then it just sort of hit me. This was my_ family._ I don't think I've ever hated them more.'

'So…you snapped?' James prompted.

'Wouldn't you? I had to say something, I couldn't just sit there and listen to them talk like that.' He gazed into his empty mug. 'Don't tell him, James,' he said quietly.

'Who?' asked James, though he thought he knew.

'Remus. I mean, don't tell him what started the fight. You know how daft he is about that stuff, he'll go blaming himself.'

'I wouldn't.'

'I know,' Sirius sighed, suddenly looking much older than fifteen. 'I just know you two talk about me sometimes, so I thought I'd mention it.'

'I—we—we don't talk about you!' This was an outright lie, and the look Sirius threw him told James his friend knew it. 'Well,' he relented, 'I mean, I update him now and then. It's really hard to get you to talk about your family in the first place!' he defended himself. 'And if you finally tell something to one of us, it makes sense not to make you tell the other one too! It's kind of like an assembly line,' he joked. 'You tell me, I summarise to Remus, and Remus gives a delicately-worded synopsis to Peter. Or sometimes the other way round,' he mused, 'Although poor Peter is always the last to know. Voila, we get the important news with minimal energy expended on your part.'

Sirius snorted. 'How efficient.'

'Sorry,' muttered James, suddenly unsure.

But Sirius shook his head. 'No, mate, I knew all along. I actually really appreciate it. I'm just being a cranky git.'

'Well, you've had a rough night,' James suggested lightly. For a moment neither boy spoke. 'Look, don't worry about Remus,' James offered finally. 'We're so close now—we just need to nick a couple more things from Slughorn's office. We can probably join him as Animagi in September—the full moon comes later that month. It'll be better then.'

'Yeah…' Sirius murmured, but James could tell he was preoccupied. The silence stretched again.

'I told my father he disgusted me. Well. I told him a lot of things.'

James grimaced. 'Bet that went over well.'

'Oh yeah. And my mother was right there, too, so it all blew up pretty quickly. I think it was Reg that really set me off, though.'

'With the Death Eater stuff?'

Sirius shook his head. 'Nah. Well, yes, but that's been coming for a while. It was just…when Dad was talking about that legislation, he was just sitting there, chipping in like an idiot, lapping it all up. I guess…I finally realised it was useless, you know?'

James was afraid to say anything. He could count the times on one hand that Sirius had opened up about his brother, with fingers to spare. Fortunately, Sirius was staring at the table again, and didn't seem to need an answer.

'I mean, I know he got into Slytherin and all, and he's always been a bit of a prat, but… he used to listen to me, when we were younger—and I always sort of thought it was good for him to have me around, at least he heard some different opinions now and then.' He laughed again, and James did wince this time. 'Shows what an idiot I was. Should've realised. I've been fighting this pureblood crap since…' He made a weary gesture._ All your life,_ James thought.

'I just kept sort of forgetting he's only a year younger than me. But then…he was saying when the right people are in charge, they won't have this kind of trouble pushing stuff like that through.' Sirius threw him a dark look. 'We all knew what he meant by "the right people."' He swallowed, and sat back, suddenly resembling the cool, implacable figure his father cut. 'So, clearly he made his choice. Just like I have. 'Bout time I wised up.'

'James?' A worried voice sounded from the hall, making Sirius jump and shattering his indifferent façade.

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A/N: Please RR:)


	2. Chapter 2: All in the Family

**Disclaimer:** If you recognize it, it's JKR's

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Sirius shot James a single, panicked look.

'It's okay, Mum,' James called quietly, hurrying around the table to meet his mother in the doorway. 'It's just Sirius,'

'Sirius?' Margaret Potter's voice rang with the concern James himself had been so careful to hide.

Sirius twisted in his seat, trying an insouciant grin and failing spectacularly. 'Evening, Mrs Potter. Sorry to barge in and all.'

'Sirius, what on earth's the matter?' Mrs Potter pushed past her son to bend over his best friend. 'You're soaking wet, and it's la—what happened to your face?' she gasped.

'It's nothing, Mum,' James interjected swiftly.

'Really, it's fine,' Sirius assured her.

James quailed under the black look his mother threw him, praying she wouldn't ask too many questions. He tried to communicate this through his eyes without Sirius noticing. He must have succeeded in some measure, for his mother's lips suddenly compressed the way they always did when the subject of Sirius's family came up, and though her face was pale with anger when she turned back, she summoned a casually cheerful tone that put both boys' efforts to shame.

'Well, time enough for talk later. First things first! James, why didn't you wake me earlier, letting him sit here in those wet robes!' Not waiting for an answer, she procured a short wand from her bathrobe and gave it an expert wave that left Sirius as dry as though he had never set foot outside.

'Thanks,' Sirius said gratefully.

'Not at all, Sirius, dear. It's a wonder you didn't catch your death in this draughty kitchen; I don't suppose you could have gotten him a towel, James? And where's Hoppie? She could warm up some leftovers.'

'S-Sorry?' apologised James, unsure what to address first. He looked bewilderedly at Sirius, who was beginning to smile.

'Let her sleep,' Sirius suggested, referring to the Potters' ancient house-elf. 'I'm really not that hungry. And although I agree your son is a reprobate, to his credit, he did make me tea.'

'Hmpf,' Mrs Potter huffed, though the corners of her mouth twitched suspiciously. But her expression sobered quickly as she drew up a chair next to Sirius. 'Now let me have a look at that face,' she said gently.

Sirius stiffened. 'It's nothing, you don't have to,' he muttered.

'Nonsense,' she said briskly. 'I hope I am witch enough to manage a simple healing charm. Now hold still.'

Sirius did as he was told, face slightly pink as Mrs Potter brushed back his hair to get a clear view of the welt, still an angry shade of red. James tried not to imagine a raging Walburga Black slashing her wand through the air in the drawing room of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place.

Moments later Mrs Potter leaned back, satisfied with her work. Sirius rubbed his newly unmarked face and smiled self-consciously.

'Thanks.'

'Of course, dear,' Mrs Potter murmured, her eyes rather bright.

'So, Mum,' James announced, more to break the awkward silence than anything, 'Sirius was just going to kip in my room.'

'If that's okay,' Sirius put in hurriedly, rising from his chair. 'I mean, just for the night. I'll find a room tomorrow.'

There was a short silence as Mrs Potter stared and James realised his friend had implied more than he'd meant to.

Mrs Potter frowned. 'Of course you can sleep here tonight, Sirius, but I think you'd best tell me what's going on,' she said quietly, looking from one to the other.

James opened his mouth to put her off again, but Sirius beat him to the punch.

'I left home,' he stated with admirable bluntness, though his eyes avoided Mrs Potter's.

The sentence hung in the air for several long seconds, during which James looked anxiously from his mother to his friend. Then—

'Oh, darling,' Mrs Potter whispered, and without warning wrapped Sirius in a crushing embrace.

_'Mum,'_ James groaned. 'You're suffocating him! I'm vicariously embarrassed here.'

Having stifled an unmanly yelp of alarm, Sirius stood stiffly locked in Mrs Potter's arms, looking entirely unequal the situation. James shrugged helplessly.

'It's all right, Mrs Potter,' mumbled Sirius, the very picture of mortification as he patted her awkwardly on the back. 'It's really not a big deal. I mean, it's not like we liked each other or anything.'

Mrs Potter made a choked little sound and finally let him go, holding him at arm's length. 'You are going to live here from now on,' she informed him fiercely.

'What? I—no—I can't…' Sirius stuttered.

'Don't be ridiculous, of course you can! You're practically part of the family as it is. Besides, you're underage, you can't live on your own.'

'That's brilliant, Mum!' James exclaimed gratefully. He had been going to suggest it himself and was glad to be spared further awkwardness.

'But I—' Sirius looked uncertainly between the two of them. James could tell how much he wanted to accept the offer; he could almost see his friend struggling with his pride.

'I—look, I'm sixteen in November, I can stay at Hogwarts over holidays and then it's only one more summer till I'm of age…'

Mrs Potter snorted, unimpressed.

'Oh come on, Sirius, it'll be great!' James urged him. 'Dad'll be dead chuffed—you two can talk Muggle music whenever you want.'

Sirius smiled reluctantly. Theodore Potter, though woefully ignorant in other areas of Muggle culture, cherished a hearty enthusiasm for their music. Sirius, who had started listening at an early age to scandalise his parents, was generally Mr Potter's only ally on the subject. However, apprehension still coloured the glance Sirius directed at Mrs Potter.

'You're sure he won't mind?'

'He'd love to have you here,' she assured him firmly.

'They basically like you better anyway,' James sighed, in a long-suffering voice.

Finally breaking down at that, Sirius grinned genuinely for the first time since he had arrived. 'Well who wouldn't, mate? Your mum deserves to have at least one charming and talented male around the house. Saving Mr Potter's presence of course.'

James's mother chuckled appreciatively. 'Good. Then it's settled. You can stay with James until I fix up the spare bedroom. I'll go hunt up some more blankets.' She gave him a final pat on the arm before bustling out of the kitchen.

'Thanks, Mum,' James called cheerfully, at the same time that Sirius said, 'Mrs Potter?'

She turned in the doorway. 'Yes, dear?'

Sirius's fumbled a moment for words. 'Erm…thanks. For everything, I mean. Letting me stay, and all.'

Mrs Potter's eyes filled with sympathy, but she gave a warm smile. 'We're so happy to have you.'

The sincerity in her voice drew an answering smile from Sirius, and James clapped his friend on the shoulder.

'Excellent!' he enthused, 'Let's bring your things up, then.'

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**A/N:** Here's the second chapter; hope you like it! Please review.


	3. Chapter 3: Uncomfotable News

**Disclaimer: All HP material belongs to our beloved Jo!**

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Remus Lupin held very still, concentrating on not moving any part of his body. Slowly, he began to take stock of his condition. His head was pounding, though he thought he couldn't have hit it during his transformation—it didn't hurt enough. The rest of him was not so lucky. He could feel what had to be some very nasty scratches on his arms and legs; his right sleeve was a bit wet with something sticky, probably blood. His left hip was sore, as though he might have crashed into something, and he thought there might be additional scratches on the back of his neck, though how they got there was a mystery.

Groaning, he cracked his eyes open, focusing on a sliver of sunlight on the floor. Several feathers littered his line of vision, and Remus reflected that they most likely represented the remains of his pillow. He had tried many times over the years to convince his mother not to bother; it wasn't as if he ever got any sleep on the nights he transformed. But although Anna Lupin had at last been forced to stop buying new mattresses and sleeping bags, she still insisted on laying out some semblance of bedding when she locked her son in the basement once a month. The extra expense pained Remus, but he had finally realised that the futile gesture was his mother's way of coping with his lycanthropy. Being a Muggle, Anna Lupin had always struggled with the helplessness she felt in regards to her son's affliction. He comforted himself with the knowledge that for several years now his parents only had to go through the experience at holidays.

Slowly, he worked his way into a sitting position, surveying the damage. The tiny window had been boarded up, and only admitted thin shafts of light, but Remus's eyes were well enough accustomed to the dark that he could get a fair sense of his surroundings. The Lupins had made their basement as werewolf-friendly as possible, emptying it of anything with which Remus might hurt himself, and even tacking sheets of foam around the small space, for the times when he unwittingly threw himself against the walls. More wasted effort, Remus thought, noting the shredded yellow foam that was strewn among the feathers.

For several minutes he simply sat on the floor of his dim basement, wondering if he had the strength to make it up the stairs in order to knock on the door. Finally accepting that he did not, he crawled to the foot of the stairway and laid his hand on the newel post. At once the worn wood began to glow until the outline of a face pushed oaken features into life. Clearing his throat, Remus tried to inject a note of cheer into his hoarse voice.

'Hey, Mum. I'm up.'

''Bout time, dozy-head,' the newel post observed tartly, before vanishing with a ripple. Remus sighed. It had taken a series of highly complicated charms for he and his father to manage this communication system, and they seemed to have imbued the enchanted post with a perpetually snarky attitude. It had been Remus who had come up with the idea, after seeing his friends James and Sirius use their two-way mirrors, but the difficulty had been in enchanting something that was unlikely to be broken by a raging werewolf. The magically reinforced newel post had finally proved to be the most useful, as it was sturdy and had a twin upstairs. Remus was especially proud of his idea to make it respond to his human touch, although the required research to accomplish such a feat had cost him many hours in the Hogwarts library. Of course, he spent much of his time there anyway, and the result gave everyone some additional peace of mind. It also came in very handy in times such as these, when a transformation had been extra draining.

Within moments, the newel post morphed into life again, looking bored. 'She says, she'll "be right down, dear,"' it informed him grudgingly. Sure enough, it had barely melted away into inanimate wood before Remus heard the series of clicks that meant the door was being unlocked. His mother must have slept in the sitting room again, to be responding so quickly.

Light fell abruptly into the darkened basement as Anna Lupin appeared at the top of the stairs. A sweet-featured woman who shared Remus's light brown hair and eyes, her face was prematurely lined with worry, worry that bled nakedly into her voice as she hurried down the steps.

'Remus? Was it a bad one, darling?'

She carried a self-assembled first-aid kit with her, as always, though it was her husband, John, who would magically heal most of Remus's wounds.

Remus smiled up at her as he manoevered himself to lean against the nearest wall. 'Not that bad, Mum,' he reassured her, 'I'm just a little extra tired, is all.'

'Mmm,' said his mum, disbelieving. Kneeling across from him, she mutely handed him a corked vial of dark blue liquid and began checking him for injuries. Remus drank the pain-killing potion gratefully.

'I hope I've stored it right, that one's always tricky and your father has never been especially good at potions,' Mrs. Lupin prattled anxiously. 'I wish he hadn't had to go to those meetings yesterday, but there's been some disturbing legislation floating around, and he thought he ought to stay the night in London—catch the aftermath this morning. Anyway, he ought to be back soon—oh,' she broke off in a sigh. She had pulled back his sleeve to reveal the angry gash beneath. Remus felt a pang of guilt as her face took on the closed expression he knew so well.

'It's not that deep,' he said quickly. 'Really, I think it's more blood than anything.'

'That will leave another scar,' was his mother's only comment, as she began to clean her son's wound.

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Remus was picking at his breakfast in the Lupins' kitchen when his mother suddenly uttered a sharp exclamation.

'Oh! Remus, I'm so sorry, I forgot! Fabius arrived early this morning—that's James's owl, isn't it? You have a letter.'

'Great,' Remus smiled. Even though they had been on summer holidays for barely three weeks, he already missed his friends terribly. Sirius had sent him a quick note early on to warn Remus that he suspected Kreacher of screening his correspondence, and Peter had twice sent him very long (and rather boring) letters, but he had yet to hear from James. Taking the letter from his mother, he tore open the envelope and skimmed the first lines eagerly. But he was soon frowning, as all his excitement evaporated.

'Remus? Is everything all right?' His mother had been watching his reaction carefully.

'It's Sirius,' he muttered absently, still focusing on the letter, 'Apparently he showed up at James's place late last night…'

'He's had another fight with his family?' Anna Lupin followed the lives of Remus's friends with great interest, not a little because she was so relieved her son had been able to find some.

'Yeah…' Remus quickly finished and set the letter on the table. His stomach was starting to clench in knots of worry. 'He ran away; he's going to live with James until he can get his own place.' Remus rubbed his face as his mother let out a soft 'Ohhh' of sympathy.

'That poor boy,' she murmured. 'Well, Lord knows he'll be better off with the Potters, but that has to be hard. I wonder what finally made him leave? James didn't say?'

Remus shook his head. 'I'll probably find out later, Sirius might not have told him yet. I wonder if I should write to Peter?'

'Oh, I'm sure James will, if he wrote to you. I'll check in with Margaret later, see what she knows about it.'

Remus was about to point out that if James didn't know what had made Sirius leave, it was unlikely that his mother would, but at that moment the squeak of the front door and the sound of heavy footsteps heralded the return of his father.

John Lupin was a tall, lean man of rather ordinary appearance. Though his hair was several shades darker than his wife's or son's, and his eyes were blue behind their wire-rimmed spectacles, people often thought Remus looked like his father. His mother said they shared the same kind smile.

But just now Mr. Lupin's eyes were sober and weary, and he set down his briefcase with an expressive_ thunk._

'Morning, Lupins,' he smiled, his face noticeably strained.

'Oh, thank goodness, John, you're back. Remus has rather nasty cut on his arm, and I thought we ought to wait until you got home—'

'Hey, Dad,' Remus spoke over his mother. 'How was the conference?'

Mr. Lupin set his briefcase down and rubbed his eyes as he drew up a chair. 'First things first,' he said firmly, motioning Remus to show him his arm. 'Bad night, son?'

'Not too bad,' Remus lied, rolling back his sleeve.

Mr. Lupin's mouth tightened at the sight, but he drew out his wand and performed the healing charm without a word. 'Better?' he asked softly.

'Much, thanks,' Remus confirmed. 'You should have been a Healer, Dad.'

His dad smiled humourlessly. 'Well, at least I would make a better Healer than a legislator.'

Since Mr. Lupin actually worked as part of the Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, this was a fairly moot point, but neither Remus nor his mother pointed that out. John Lupin's dedication to attending every community-open meeting to discuss potential Wizarding legislation was largely due to his anxiety over the lack of rights he saw in his son's future.

'What is it dear?' Anna Lupin's question begged forthrightness.

'It's this bloody regulation they want passed!' Mr. Lupin spat, in an uncharacteristic show of temper. He ran a distracted hand through his grey-streaked hair. 'I don't know who dreamed it up—Abraxas Malfoy, I heard. But Orion Black came in and spoke for it—he'll be pouring money into it as well. And I know at least two committee members are well in his pocket, so at the very least they'll be debating the blasted thing for the next six months…'

Mr. Lupin trailed off, rubbing the heels of his hands against his forehead.

'What regulation are they trying to pass, John?'

'Orion Black was there, Dad?'

Mr. Lupin glanced up at Remus's tone, but chose to answer his wife's question first. 'It's…nothing,' he said heavily. 'More restrictions—they want to meddle with the Werewolf Register, and they're cheating by trying to slip it in under the Guidelines for the Treatment of Non-Wizard Part Humans…I think that's how they got so many supporters there, by mislabelling it. It will never go through, of course.' He mustered a smile and laid a hand on Remus's arm. 'Nothing to worry about; it was just a stressful meeting. Cuthbert Mockridge was there, from the Goblin Liaison Office; he has contacts in the Beast and Being Divisions he can put on the case. And of course the Werewolf Support Services are raising hell, although they don't have as much clout as some of the other units. But I'm not worried. This one'll blow over.'

Remus smiled briefly, to show he wasn't worried either, but: 'Mr. Black spoke for it?'

'Oh!' breathed his mum, following his train of thought.

Mr. Lupin sighed. 'Yes. I'm sorry, Remus, I know you're friends with his son, but that family has a long history of pureblood supremacy and Orion Black is no better than any of them. Saving Sirius, of course,' he added hastily. John Lupin had always been a bit more wary of accepting a Black as his son's friend, though Remus and his mum had eventually talked him around.

'Sirius left home last night,' Remus said neutrally.

There was a tense moment as Remus saw his parents exchange a look, and he braced himself.

'That may not have been it, Remus,' his dad reasoned.

'It's not your fault, sweetheart,' whispered his mum.

'I know,' Remus said. 'I know.'

But he didn't finish the rest of his breakfast, and when he returned to his room to send a letter in reply to James, he sat for a very long time staring at the blank sheet of parchment. Eventually he laid down his quill and crawled into bed instead.

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**A/N: A new point of view this time! RR, it means a lot:)**


	4. Chapter 4: Profitable Gossip

Disclaimer: All HP related material belongs to JKR!

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The scarlet steam engine gleamed in the bright September sun, though anyone looking out over platform nine-and-three-quarters would be hard-pressed to see it through the seething mass of students and their families.

But one boy was scanning the crowd itself. Hurrying along the platform, lugging his trunk behind him, Severus Snape shook his long, dark hair from his eyes as he peered through the jostling bodies around him. His narrow, sallow face was taut with concentration; he paused only to spit a dire warning at an unfortunate First-Year girl who bumped into him.

His black eyes suddenly lit with eagerness as they found their target. His steps quickened and he raised a thin arm in greeting.

'Lily!'

A girl with dark red hair turned at his voice, green eyes searching the throng until they locked with his. Lily Evans's face broke into a smile at his approach and Severus felt his heart pound in answer. It was only when he stopped, breathless, in front of her, that he sensed the reserve there.

'Hi, Sev.'

'You didn't come to Diagon Alley,' he accused without preamble. 'It's the first year we haven't gone together.'

In fact, he hadn't seen her for quite a while. His eyes drank in her face hungrily, lingering on each familiar feature as though they had gone years apart. He noted that she had cut her hair since June.

Lily frowned. 'I thought you were going with Avery and Mulciber and that crowd.'

'Well…yes,' he admitted. 'But you could have come!'

Lily snorted.

'I wouldn't have let them say anything to you—'

'That's not the point, Sev. Why are you friends with people who would _want_ to "say anything" to a Muggleborn?'

Severus had no answer for that. He had always known Lily did not approve of his Slytherin crowd.

'Look, Severus, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. Those boys you hang out with…they're—bigoted and—and cruel.' She took a deep breath, 'I heard what you all did to little Andy Dobbs last spring—'

'That prat,' Severus interjected contemptuously. 'He deserved it, what are you bothered about him for?'

'He didn't deserve it—'

'He said Rabastan's father was a worthless jailbird!'

'Well, that's true! Maybe Andy shouldn't have said it like that, but that's no excuse! Mr Lestrange was imprisoned for torturing Muggles. It's just that kind of attitude, as though a crime doesn't matter if it was committed against Muggles or Muggleborns. Not one of your so-called friends would care if it had been _me_ Mr Lestrange had been torturing.'

Severus opened his mouth to protest, but no sound came out. Perhaps that was just as well, for Lily didn't look as though she was in the mood to be argued with. He had the uncomfortable suspicion that she had been wanting to say these things for a while.

'Anyway, it doesn't matter whether he deserved it or not—those curses you're all throwing around, that's Dark Magic, Sev.'

Severus made an impatient noise. Lily had never understood when it came to the Dark Arts.

'I just—I don't like the way you act, sometimes. Around them, I mean. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with—who you're becoming.'

Her voice had turned gentle, even sympathetic, but Severus recoiled as though she had struck him.

'Fine,' he retorted, 'maybe you'd prefer to hang out with Potter and his gang, if you can't stand being around me.'

Lily looked at him incredulously. 'Sev, what on earth has Potter got to do with—'

'Evans!'

Severus felt the force of that disgustingly confident voice as though it was a physical blow to his stomach. He arranged his features into the most contemptuously indifferent expression he could manage, and James Potter came jogging out of the crowd.

'Evans,' Potter panted again, grinning as he reached them. 'Have a good summer?' He ran a hand through his messy black hair, and Severus felt a flash of pure loathing. Behind Potter, Sirius Black sauntered up at a more languorous pace, hands deep in the pockets of a denim jacket. For all his pureblood status, he managed to look as coolly handsome dressed like a Muggle as he did in wizard robes. Fully aware that he could never cut such a dashing figure, Severus's mouth twisted in bitter scorn.

'Yes, thank you,' Lily answered. The chill in her voice made his heart sing.

Potter flicked a glance at Severus, who twitched a hand towards his wand, but James said nothing except, 'Great. Look, erm…I heard you got made a Prefect…'

Lily nodded, and James grinned eagerly. 'Great! Congratulations! So, anyway, I just came over because—well, Remus is a Prefect too, and he said they switched the compartment you were all meeting in, so I just thought I'd—I mean, I wanted to make sure you knew…'

Severus saw Black rolling his eyes, and for once he was in agreement.

'Yes. Erm, thanks. I did know,' said Lily. 'I actually told Remus...'

Severus felt an unpleasant spike of jealousy. He sneered at Potter, 'But you can tell Lupin that if he ever gets his nose out of his books long enough to see daylight, he'll realise there's more to being a Prefect than attending meetings one moment and then running around with his friends the next.'

Potter glared and Lily frowned, but Black beat them both.

'No one asked you, Snivellus,' he said coolly, 'and were I you I wouldn't be talking about anyone's noses, book-bound or otherwise.'

His grey eyes lingered on Severus's own prominent feature, and Severus was appalled to find himself blushing. Swiftly controlling his features, he managed a patronising smile.

'How's your family, Black?' he inquired silkily. 'I heard your father takes on extra work over the summer holidays simply to stay out of the house.'

Potter's hand flew to his wand, and Lily coughed, embarrassed, but Severus wasn't finished.

'That's no help for your mother, though, is it? Regulus said she actually gets physically ill when you're at home.'

'Shut it, Snape!' Potter barked roughly. 'That's completely uncalled for.'

Black, who had not so much as twitched at Severus's dig, closed his eyes briefly at his friend's gallant wording. But Severus's triumph was marred by the unmistakable anger in Lily's flashing eyes. With a sharp pang, he realised she was in complete agreement with James. Black, however, was unfazed.

'Relax, James,' he said in a bored tone. 'He has to get his summer angst out somehow,'

Severus glared, hating him. Black sardonically held his eyes for the space of a moment, long enough to let Severus know just how little he cared for Severus's jibes. Then, raising an aristocratic brow, Black turned to Potter and said lightly, 'Well if you both are quite done making fools of yourselves, I suggest we all board the train some time before midnight, and leave Miss Evans in peace.' He gave a mockingly chivalrous bow in Lily's direction, that was nevertheless suave enough to make Severus and even Potter cast an envious glance in his direction.

'Thank you,' Lily smiled wryly. 'I'd really better go if I want to make the Prefect's meeting on time.' She flicked a quick, appraising look at Potter, gave Severus a curt nod, and set off for the head of the train.

Severus watched her go, feeling emptier with every step she took. By the time he had turned back, Potter and Black were gone, moseying back through the crowds and returning laughing sallies to various admirers. Bitterness rose in Severus's throat like bile. They hadn't even considered him an adversary to be reckoned with. Hoisting his trunk behind him, Severus set off too, prowling through the happy throngs. He was not used to being bested verbally, and the knowledge that he had by no means had the last word in their encounter ate at him. If he hadn't been distracted by Lily's presence he would have told Sirius Black what was what. Lily…Severus swallowed hard, remembering the outrage in her beautiful green eyes when he had taunted Black about his family. This was not the time to start saying the wrong things around her.

* * *

Severus sat alone in his train compartment, leaning his head against the window. He was supposed to be patrolling right now, but he hadn't the heart. Lily had remained cool toward him during the Prefect meeting, though he noted that she greeted Remus Lupin with a little extra warmth. Misery curled like a wet cat in his stomach. He knew what that look that Lily had given Potter had been. Admiration. Much as she hated the arrogant git, she had approved of the way he had stood up for that worthless blood-traitor, Black. Couldn't she see the only reason Potter hadn't cursed him, Severus, into oblivion, was that he was trying to impress her? Severus bit his lip and mentally ran through all the curses he would like to use on James Potter and his gang if he got the chance. Potter wouldn't look so confident with his face melted into putty. Black wouldn't sound so condescending if he were choking on his own tongue. And Lupin and Pettigrew! Strutting around with Potter and Black, thinking they were cool just by association. Severus snorted to himself. Pettigrew had the talent of a six-year-old and Lupin—there was something strange about Lupin. Severus had never understood him. He was nothing like the rest of them, quiet and thoughtful, and yet Potter and Black defended him like he was their little invalid sister. Lily liked him too; she had never let Severus say anything against him…

Severus was so busy stewing that he barely noticed when his compartment door slid open to admit a group of Slytherin Fourth Years deep in conversation. He looked up long enough to spare the younger students a sneering glance and promptly reached into his book bag to extract his Potions book. He didn't feel like talking.

The Fourth Years ignored him, huddling together at the other end of the compartment. Whatever they were discussing was apparently vastly intriguing.

'No way!' Severus recognised the superior tones of Evan Rosier. 'Blasted him clean off? So that's that, then, isn't it? Totally disowned. What an idiot. What made him do it?'

'Dunno. He just…left.'

Something in that quiet voice made Severus look up, curiosity peaked. Over the top of his Potions book, he saw Regulus Black sitting in the midst of Abenur Wilkes, Evan Rosier, and two other Fourth Years he knew by sight but had never spoken to. Severus had never been especially close to Regulus. At first he had shunned him because of his brother, but he soon learned Regulus was nothing like Sirius. The younger Black had proper Wizarding pride, and Severus approved of his quiet manner and studious habits. But for all that, he was a year behind Severus, and the latter could not help but feel a flash of scorn any time Regulus quoted with obvious affection something his sainted father had said, or offered to share some meticulously put together parcel of sweets his mother had sent. Just now though, the 'good Black' was looking rather pale and strained, his narrow face showing a marked lack of enthusiasm for the topic of conversation.

'Wow…' murmured one of the unknown boys. He had a thin mouth and wide, rabbit-eyes that made him look perpetually startled. Severus had seen him hanging out with Regulus before. 'Bad fight, was it?'

'Very,' Regulus answered shortly.

'Well, go on, what was the fight about?' Abenur prodded eagerly. Regulus shrugged.

'He took issue with this legislation Dad's been pushing. About werewolf registration.'

'Oh yeah, that was brilliant!' Rabbit-Eyes fawned. 'My father was talking about it the other night.'

'Yeah, well, Sirius has always been a prat about that half-breed protection stuff.'

There was a short, awkward silence following the admission of this shameful fact. Severus felt a thrill of interest, his mind whirring. Unless he was very much mistaken, it sounded as though Sirius Black had run away…more than that, been idisowned!/i And after a 'very bad' fight. He had heard rumours of Walburga Black's temper through his pureblood friends, and could imagine the results of such an argument. He could have kissed Regulus. Staring at his Potions book without seeing it, he strained his ears, desperate for more. If only he'd known this back on the platform!

'Sorry, mate,' the other nameless Slytherin was muttering sympathetically. 'But every family has them. I had an uncle married a Mudblood once—he got disinherited too. It'll be better with him out of the house.'

'Yeah…' Regulus's voice sounded rather distant.

'So where'd he go?' Abenur prompted.

'Potter's,' Regulus spat. Severus relished the sudden contempt in his voice.

'Figures,' Regulus went on. 'He's practically lived with those blood traitors since First Year anyway. Besides, now I can make my own plans in peace.'

From the hint of pride that coloured his voice, Severus knew that he was dying to tell his friends exactly what those mysterious plans were. The other boys went so quiet Severus had to close his eyes in concentration. 'You're still thinking about joining him?' Abenur's voice was equal parts fear and excitement.

'Of course he is!' Evan cut in scornfully. 'Any pureblood with an ounce of pride is planning to join the Death Eaters.'

'Shhhh,' one of the others hushed him.

'No one's listening,' sneered Evan. 'Besides, we're in good company.'

Severus stared even harder at his book, sure they were talking about him. He felt a little glow of satisfaction, knowing they thought him farther advanced than they on the road to becoming a Death Eater.

'Some of the older students are already preparing,' Regulus went on quietly. 'We should start making connections now, if we want to be in the right place when our turn comes.'

'What kind of connections?' It was Rabbit-Eyes again. Severus thought he must be rather dense. 'Who would teach us that sort of Dark Magic at Hogwarts?'

'I think I know.' There was a note of rebellion in Regulus Black's voice that suddenly reminded Severus of his brother. But it was all Regulus when the younger boy raised his voice and said,

'Pardon me, Snape. We had a few questions for you, if you wouldn't mind.'

Severus smiled his silkiest smile and smoothly slipped his book back into his bag.

'I'd be delighted.'

* * *

A/N: Mwa ha ha, setting the stage for things to come. As always, please R&R. Much appreciated!


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